i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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