but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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