Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize