his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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