physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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