Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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