i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
