Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
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Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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