I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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