I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
