It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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