After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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