I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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