if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
