Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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