life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize