So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
