Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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