Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
