Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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