Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
