dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
