I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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