Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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