do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
