but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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