it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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