lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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