my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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