I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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