Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
