Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Walk of Shame today included voting.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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