Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
