i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i think i have two assholes
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
