Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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