Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
