Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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