Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
