did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
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I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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