just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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