Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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