well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
