It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
