I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize