It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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