Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
