So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
