I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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