My nipple is on Facebook.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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