His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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