How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
