I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
