My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize