if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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