Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
