Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
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Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
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The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize