these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
