you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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