I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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