remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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