Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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