Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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