a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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