All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
