Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
