Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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