I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
