I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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